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[chaos_drifter]

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[chaos_drifter]

That is what I meant. [They were not expecting him to give them the choice. To them, it implies that he trusts them more than they thought he would.] Why does it matter to you if I mind?

[major_rawne]

I don't want to violate your privacy unnecessarily. You're my permanent inmate, we have time to talk if you'd rather establish trust before I look. [It's the way Quentin worked. He didn't look at Rawne's file immediately, either.]

[chaos_drifter]

[Their privacy. They no longer need it, or have it, to kill. Everything they do is out in the open. They will give themself one more chance with Will. If they fail, there will be no point in concealing anything.] In a way, you have already taken my privacy. Whatever my file can give you does not matter to me.

[major_rawne]

Because I searched your room after you stabbed John Doe?

[He does make a mental note to look at their file later.]

[chaos_drifter]

[They had no idea he had done that, but it makes sense.]

Because you asked the Admiral to remove my powers. [They think it was him. They had woken to a seemingly-silent Barge the day pairings had changed.] And because the Admiral removed some of my powers before I arrived, which I am aware had nothing to do with you. [Their means to stay hidden are gone.]

[major_rawne]

Oh, right. Yes, that was me, since you had killed someone.

[chaos_drifter]

I never finished killing Will. [Their hand goes to their bracelet, and the new rows of beads that they had collected before the Breach.] I have not killed anyone here, and death does not seem to last.

[major_rawne]

No, it doesn't last, but it's still frowned upon. The best thing to do is avoid killing people, even if they come back.

[chaos_drifter]

Why? Why do lives matter so much, if they can be brought back so easily, and even if they cannot? Humans barely live for a moment. Even if you can fill your life with meaning, why does it matter? What will remain when you are gone? And if people can be brought back and their deaths will not last, why does it matter who I kill?

[major_rawne]

Lives matter because... fuck, that's a little above my paygrade. We matter because we're here, alive. Talking to each other. Forming connections. All that.

As for killing, it's... it's violence. Doing violence against others is frowned upon. We're trying to maintain a peaceful society here.

[chaos_drifter]

[How does one form connections without feelings? They have no idea. They understand that every society they have ever seen has been against violence in one way or another, but no one seems to know why.] What happens when someone has no feelings?

[major_rawne]

Hm. I'm not really sure. The only person I knew like that back home was a complete asshole.

[chaos_drifter]

You say that like you do not see me as an asshole, in which case I think most of the ship would disagree with you, or like you see me as a creature with feelings, in which case I would like to know how you came to that conclusion. [Unless, as Hakkai said, they have emotions but cannot recognize them.]

[major_rawne]

Believe me, I think you're an asshole. Just not as terrible as Lijah Cuu, that's all. And... you do seem like someone with emotions, just very muted ones.

[chaos_drifter]

How would you define an emotion? [Hakkai had defined it as a combination of thoughts and physical feelings. They wonder if Rawne defines it the same way.]

[major_rawne]

It's... [This is tricky. Rawne barely understands his emotions as it is.] It's a mental and physical response to outside stimuli.

[chaos_drifter]

Both at once, not one or the other?

[major_rawne]

Often. When I was trying to figure out my emotions, concentrating on the physical sensations helped. Fear is felt in the stomach, for example. Anger in the chest.

[chaos_drifter]

[They have no idea what those things feel like. They have sensed those emotions in their victims, and understand what they are, but have never felt them.] What about arousal? I understand what it feels like, physically, but you felt it because you were lonely. [They were never attracted to him. What takes those feelings over the threshold from arousal to attraction? Their body had reacted to touch, but they had only wanted to understand his thoughts.]

[major_rawne]

I felt arousal because you were attractive and offered sex to me. The loneliness just meant that I was more likely than usual to accept the offer.

[chaos_drifter]

Physically attractive? [Most men seem to like women who are curvier than them, or men who are muscular. Avalon is neither.]

[major_rawne]

Yes, is that odd? [Rawne's more attracted to dangerous people than anything else, and Avalon is dangerous.]

[chaos_drifter]

No. [He is not the first person to consider their default form attractive.] If you were emotionally attracted to me, it would be.

[major_rawne]

No, you're not my type where it comes to relationships.

[chaos_drifter]

That makes sense.

Why do you think I have ‘muted’ emotions? [If more than one person agrees on something about them, does that give them an identity?]