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[chaos_drifter]

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[major_rawne]

I felt arousal because you were attractive and offered sex to me. The loneliness just meant that I was more likely than usual to accept the offer.

[chaos_drifter]

Physically attractive? [Most men seem to like women who are curvier than them, or men who are muscular. Avalon is neither.]

[major_rawne]

Yes, is that odd? [Rawne's more attracted to dangerous people than anything else, and Avalon is dangerous.]

[chaos_drifter]

No. [He is not the first person to consider their default form attractive.] If you were emotionally attracted to me, it would be.

[major_rawne]

No, you're not my type where it comes to relationships.

[chaos_drifter]

That makes sense.

Why do you think I have ‘muted’ emotions? [If more than one person agrees on something about them, does that give them an identity?]

[major_rawne]

Because you react to things, you don't just sit around doing nothing. You stabbed John Doe because you wanted to see if he had a body. That's an emotional response, in my mind, if not a very strong one.

[chaos_drifter]

Interesting perspective. Hakkai agrees with you.

[major_rawne]

Was he your warden, too?

[chaos_drifter]

No, but… [They attacked him.] We talked after the Breach a few months ago, and when I asked about emotions on the Network.

[major_rawne]

That's good. Did he help you?

[chaos_drifter]

The idea of a physical component to emotions was new. I had never thought of it that way.

[major_rawne]

Well, your relationship to your body isn't like everyone else's, is it? Since you're some kind of... spirit or something.

[chaos_drifter]

Passenger. We lack identities of our own. [They have no idea why.]

[major_rawne]

That, right. So now, on the Barge, you have a body, and it's new. You don't have the experience to know what it does. How it feels.

[chaos_drifter]

So I may be able to learn to feel. Did you lack emotions when you arrived?

[major_rawne]

Mostly. Not like you, but all I could feel was anger. The first time I met Quentin, my warden, I tried to stab him.

[chaos_drifter]

[They lay back on their bed, propping the communicator on their chest.] Do you know why you felt that way?

[major_rawne]

I was grieving because of things I could barely understand and anger was easier.

[chaos_drifter]

((OOC: Just a note that I’m about to get Avalon killed. Rawne can react however he wants!))

How do you choose that?

[major_rawne]

((ooc: Rawne will be Not Pleased. He may yell. Thanks for the heads up.))

What? Choose anger? It wasn't really a conscious choice. I just stayed angry all the time, to the point that it was my default state.

[chaos_drifter]

((Fun times. They brought this on themself. You’re welcome!))

How did you end that anger?

[major_rawne]

I let myself grieve. It wasn't easy.

[chaos_drifter]

[He allowed his true feelings to exist as they needed to.]

What is the purpose of emotions? If they are painful, why have them at all?

[They are an empty creature who has filled that void with the pain of others. Here, their purpose will soon be exhausted, and they have no idea what they will do when that happens.]

[major_rawne]

That's a question I've asked, myself. Not all emotions are painful, though, and experiencing them alongside other people helps build connections with them.