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[chaos_drifter]

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[chaos_drifter]

Is everyone in your world human?

[abrightboy]

Yes. But I’ve been here for over a year now.

[chaos_drifter]

Have you met others who lack emotions?

[abrightboy]

Well, that depends what you mean by 'lack emotions'. I've met people who don't feel them. I've met people who feel them but can't identify them. I've met people who can switch them on and off.

[chaos_drifter]

I feel nothing that I can recognize. It is possible that I experience the compnents of emotions separately, but not together.

How do people switch their emotions on and off?

[abrightboy]

It’s something sociopaths and psychopaths can do. Tell me what you mean by feeling components of emotions.

[chaos_drifter]

How do they do that? Or do they just pretend to feel because it furthers an agenda?

Sometimes my body responds to things. I have felt arousal because I was being touched sexually, but I was not attracted to the person who was touching me.

[abrightboy]

They can ALSO pretend to feel to further their agenda.

So your body is capable of reacting to things, but your mind doesn’t react to the stimuli emotionally. Have you ever felt attracted to anyone?

[chaos_drifter]

When they do feel things, how do they switch their emotions on and off? [Avalon knows how to fake emotions, when they care enough to do so, but has never tried to make themself feel anything.]

Yes, that seems to be the case. [They had decided to have sex with Rawne to understand the physicality of it, but had not seen him as attractive.] My body’s reactions are sporadic, but they are only physical. I have never been attracted to someone.

[abrightboy]

It's like a lightswitch for them. They can just do it when feeling would be a hindrance to what they want to do.

...If you've never been attracted to anyone, why was someone touching you sexually?

[chaos_drifter]

They wanted sexual companionship, and I consented.

[abrightboy]

Did… you understand what you were consenting to?

[chaos_drifter]

Yes. [At least, they had by the time they were actually doing it.]

[abrightboy]

When you think back on it, what kind of thoughts do you have?

[chaos_drifter]

It was different. My body had never done anything like that before, but other than that, it meant nothing. Sex is nothing but a physical experience.

[abrightboy]

It’s actually quite an emotional experience when you have an emotional connection to the person you’re with. But forget emotions. Did you experience physical pleasure from it?

[chaos_drifter]

[They had had an orgasm, so as far as they know,] Yes.

[abrightboy]

Is that sort of pleasure something you’d seek out again?

[chaos_drifter]

I might. It was an interesting experience.

[abrightboy]

Interesting intellectually?

[chaos_drifter]

Yes.

[abrightboy]

Have you ever asked your Warden to ask the Admiral to let you feel normal emotions? It doesn't seem to be outside his purview.

[chaos_drifter]

I am considering it. [Their Breach self had emotions, which means that the Barge can make that possible.]

[abrightboy]

What made you decide to consider that?

[chaos_drifter]

I am an empty creature because I lack emotions and a stable identity. I think that being able to feel like a human might guide me.