"Yes. It's open," Hakkai says. His voice is still flat and cold; the door is unlocked. When Ruka opens it, she'll find Hakkai, bruising coming up on his throat and one sleeve half-dyed in red, kneeling beside Avalon's crumpled form, his posture perfect but his hands lying useless on his knees.
He looks up at her.
"His neck is broken," he says with cool precision. "I came in here to ask him why he had been following me, he asked me if I felt guilty for my sister's death, and when I said that was personal and asked him if he'd lost someone he cared for, he attacked me with that quill."
He nods to a fallen quill halfway across the room, its sharp metal tip darkened with clotting blood.
"I took it from him, but he tried to choke me when I reached for my communicator, and I threw him off.
"He landed badly."
And Hakkai has no idea if he's about to be demoted or not.
Ruka lets the door close behind her, watching and listening. It sounds like Hakkai is confessing to her, and she's not sure what to do to absolve him. It doesn't like guilt, exactly, but...
"Then, it was an accident." She says it simply enough, blinking slowly as she takes a few steps near. She stares down at Avalon's body, feeling-- dizzy. The room spins and she tilts her head up to look at the ceiling, taking a breath. Avalon's body doesn't look too different from how her friends' bodies were found. It's not a pleasant comparison.
There's nothing to be done for Avalon right now, but Ruka wanders anyhow, too restless to sit still. She turns to the bed to grab the comforter off of it, wanting to cover up the body--wheter out of respect or simply because she doesn't want to see it anymore is anyone's guess.
"An accident," she mutters again, "and self-defense. Mistakes happen." Even if this is a very, very huge mistake. It doesn't feel like the right word for it either, but she doesn't really know what else to say about it. It feels like moving on auto-pilot.
"Yes," Hakkai agrees, and glances down at his sleeve, a tiny frown creasing his forehead. He settles back, unbuttoning the cuff to push it back. Well -- maybe the gouge that they had left on his wrist was a little deeper than he had thought. He hesitates for a moment, then checks his pockets, finding a handkerchief to press over the freely bleeding wound.
After a moment, he rises to his feet, stepping back from Avalon's body so that Ruka can cover them with the comforter. It's only the second time he's been responsible for a death on the Barge, and the first -- long ago, when he'd barely arrived -- had been one he was unquestionably responsible for. He's not quite sure what the expectations might be.
"...I'm sorry," he adds, blinking, as realization strikes. "You probably aren't, ah. Used to dealing with--"
The aftermath of violent death seems like a callous thing to say, so he just inclines his head towards Avalon's crumpled form.
As she finishes covering Avalon, Ruka wanders to the bathroom with purpose, poking around until she can find a small towel. She'll apologize to Avalon later for rifling through his things, but for now she returns to hand it wordlessly over to Hakkai.
She looks at the covered lump and then glances away, rubbing her arm to self-soothe. "At the sanatorium people died all the time. Most of the time they took their own lives instead of letting the disease grow more. Or they'd fall from the top of the buildings trying to get up to the moon."
She kneels down to fuss over the blanket, not sure what happens to the body after it dies here.
"There was a little girl, a patient like us... She was obsessed with collecting specific things, like a lot of other patients. For her, she collected 'beautiful things' but for her, 'beautiful things' were injured and broken people. She considered them dolls and liked to hurt others. The doctors let her do what she wanted, so she hurt people often. She killed Madoka's canary one. She cut its head off with scissors. She liked attacking with those scissors most of all.
Apparently she didn't like me much though, so she left me alone. She said I was 'too broken to break any further' so it was no fun for her to try."
She's babbling, she's aware. She thinks she must have dealt with it before, to be like this now. Or maybe she's just in shock. What is one supposed to do in a situation like this? She'd never been involved in the clean-up or anything like that.
She rests her forearms on her knees, staring at the blanket. "What am I supposed to do now? Do I... reach out to the Admiral?"
"Yes." She's panicking, that's clear enough. Hakkai steadies himself against the humming panic in his own ribcage, breathes through it, and smiles at Ruka, small and sympathetic.
"You should reach out to the Admiral and ask for your inmate to be revived. There's no need to take him to the infirmary, although--"
He glances around, frowning a little at the sight of his own blood spattered on the floor, the quill cast aside.
"--he'll come back to life in his own body, with all of his injuries healed. I'll help clean up in here. It might take a few minutes for him to come back after you make the request, but it's usually not very long.
"After he comes back, he'll feel very ill for about a week, with pain where the fatal injury was."
He takes a deep breath, steadying himself, and glances down to check on the progress of his wound. The blood seems to be slowing, maybe stopped, although he resists the temptation to let up on the pressure to see.
"I can help move him to his bed before you ask. It might be more comfortable for him."
Ruka stands, turning toward him. “You should take care of your wound first. Do you know any, um.” She makes a vague gesture toward his arm. “Healing magic?” It’s quicker than typical bandages and she’s sure there’s people with healing magic around the ship, somewhere.
“I’ll help clean up. He’s my inmate, so this is my responsibility too.” It isn’t, not really, but it’d make her feel better. “I’m sorry he attacked you. I’ll… do something about this.” She has no idea what, but something, surely.
"I do, but really, it isn't that deep," Hakkai assures her. "I heal quickly. As for what you do...."
He trails off, his mouth setting into a thin line.
"I think you may want to discover why, exactly, he attacked me. He asked me about my sister's death during the last flood, and I told him." Because: flood. He wishes he hadn't, now, but there's no undoing it. "He's asked me about it a few times since. It seemed as if he was trying to... push me to express guilt, and that he then attacked me--"
There's something about Kanan's death that clearly triggered Avalon's interest in him. He shakes his head slowly.
"I don't understand his motivation, and, not understanding his motivation, I don't know how likely he is to try again."
"Oh." Ruka goes still suddenly, looking surprised. "Oh!" And she turns to her things she'd set aside to grab her notebook, flipping through it.
"They don't attack people who aren't suffering, because there's no point." They'd said that themselves, right? She couldn't remember everything in perfect clarity, but that's where her Handy-Dandy Notebook came into play.
"Avalon's attracted to people who are suffering. People who are suicidal and the like, they prey on that. They're drawn to despair. They coerce their victims into killing themselves. I've asked, but I don't think even they knows why... I think that they think it helps them, somehow, trying to understand."
She stares down at her notes with a little frown. "When we first met, I was playing the piano... They wanted me to play the Lunar Melody for them a couple of times...I guess because of the way it can make you remember things. I never asked what it made them remember..."
He pauses briefly. It's truly not relevant, but-- "...They?"
Conversations that Hakkai has had with Avalon: the traumatic death by suicide of his twin sister. Conversations that Hakkai has not had with Avalon: their gender identity.
Ruka looks up, expression blank. "...They?" She echoes, not seeming to understand what's wrong. After another beat she adds, "well, Avalon doesn't seem to have a real form... So I don't know if they're actually a guy or a girl? But their inmate ledger says 'they' too, so..."
She trails off, not sure if either of them are right or wrong. "I never really thought to ask."
He clears his throat, glancing away. "I, ah. Hadn't checked the inmate ledger for them." He should have, especially given the odd behavior, but he'd thought it was more reasonable to go speak to them in person. The ledger does tend to be -- less than helpful. But he shouldn't be ignoring available information, even if it isn't as helpful as he'd like.
"In any case." He looks down, his expression smoothing out. "I wouldn't say I'm suffering particularly from despair. But I will admit I found her death quite difficult. I assume they -- thought it was a weakness that they could exploit, then."
All's well that ends well, she supposes, focusing briefly on her communicator to get her message to the Admiral about reviving Avalon.
"Maybe..." She sighs, shaking her head. "I should've learned more... I'm sorry I couldn't prevent this." She stands and brushes herself off, wandering a bit to find another towel to start cleaning up the blood.
"I can talk to the Admiral about you, too, if you want. Tell him that it wasn't your fault."
"There's no need." Hakkai carefully peels the bloody handkerchief away from his wrist, checks the bleeding -- slowed enough not to worry about -- and knots the handkerchief awkwardly one-handed over the wound before he straightens up.
"If he asks, you can tell him anything you like, but I... would assume I'd be an inmate already if I were going to be demoted for this." And it had been self-defense. Although he should have been able to defend himself more effectively without killing.
That's a matter to discuss with Xie Lian, though, later. He glances at the blanket-covered corpse.
"You don't have to if you'd rather not..." He's crouching beside Avalon, ready to scoop their body into his arms blanket and all to avoid making Ruka interact with the corpse.
"I want to," Ruka quickly assures him, going opposite Hakkai to help get Avalon to the bed.
Once there she fusses again a little bit, smoothing the comforter. "I'll let you know once he's up and feeling better. Do you... Do you want to try and talk to him again, or...?"
"Not without at least one other person present," Hakkai sighs, taking a polite step back from the bed. "Although please let me know if you need someone to bring food while he's recovering from the death toll? I'm certainly -- responsible for this."
If for no other reason than he certainly should have known better.
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timeasmymeasure
Re: ruka coming in like that pizza gif where everything's on fire
Date: 2023-07-19 11:30 pm (UTC)He looks up at her.
"His neck is broken," he says with cool precision. "I came in here to ask him why he had been following me, he asked me if I felt guilty for my sister's death, and when I said that was personal and asked him if he'd lost someone he cared for, he attacked me with that quill."
He nods to a fallen quill halfway across the room, its sharp metal tip darkened with clotting blood.
"I took it from him, but he tried to choke me when I reached for my communicator, and I threw him off.
"He landed badly."
And Hakkai has no idea if he's about to be demoted or not.
no subject
Date: 2023-07-19 11:39 pm (UTC)"Then, it was an accident." She says it simply enough, blinking slowly as she takes a few steps near. She stares down at Avalon's body, feeling-- dizzy. The room spins and she tilts her head up to look at the ceiling, taking a breath. Avalon's body doesn't look too different from how her friends' bodies were found. It's not a pleasant comparison.
There's nothing to be done for Avalon right now, but Ruka wanders anyhow, too restless to sit still. She turns to the bed to grab the comforter off of it, wanting to cover up the body--wheter out of respect or simply because she doesn't want to see it anymore is anyone's guess.
"An accident," she mutters again, "and self-defense. Mistakes happen." Even if this is a very, very huge mistake. It doesn't feel like the right word for it either, but she doesn't really know what else to say about it. It feels like moving on auto-pilot.
"You're bleeding."
no subject
Date: 2023-07-20 12:12 am (UTC)After a moment, he rises to his feet, stepping back from Avalon's body so that Ruka can cover them with the comforter. It's only the second time he's been responsible for a death on the Barge, and the first -- long ago, when he'd barely arrived -- had been one he was unquestionably responsible for. He's not quite sure what the expectations might be.
"...I'm sorry," he adds, blinking, as realization strikes. "You probably aren't, ah. Used to dealing with--"
The aftermath of violent death seems like a callous thing to say, so he just inclines his head towards Avalon's crumpled form.
cw: talk of suicide, animal murder
Date: 2023-07-20 12:32 am (UTC)She looks at the covered lump and then glances away, rubbing her arm to self-soothe. "At the sanatorium people died all the time. Most of the time they took their own lives instead of letting the disease grow more. Or they'd fall from the top of the buildings trying to get up to the moon."
She kneels down to fuss over the blanket, not sure what happens to the body after it dies here.
"There was a little girl, a patient like us... She was obsessed with collecting specific things, like a lot of other patients. For her, she collected 'beautiful things' but for her, 'beautiful things' were injured and broken people. She considered them dolls and liked to hurt others. The doctors let her do what she wanted, so she hurt people often. She killed Madoka's canary one. She cut its head off with scissors. She liked attacking with those scissors most of all.
Apparently she didn't like me much though, so she left me alone. She said I was 'too broken to break any further' so it was no fun for her to try."
She's babbling, she's aware. She thinks she must have dealt with it before, to be like this now. Or maybe she's just in shock. What is one supposed to do in a situation like this? She'd never been involved in the clean-up or anything like that.
She rests her forearms on her knees, staring at the blanket. "What am I supposed to do now? Do I... reach out to the Admiral?"
Re: cw: talk of suicide, animal murder
Date: 2023-07-20 01:21 am (UTC)"You should reach out to the Admiral and ask for your inmate to be revived. There's no need to take him to the infirmary, although--"
He glances around, frowning a little at the sight of his own blood spattered on the floor, the quill cast aside.
"--he'll come back to life in his own body, with all of his injuries healed. I'll help clean up in here. It might take a few minutes for him to come back after you make the request, but it's usually not very long.
"After he comes back, he'll feel very ill for about a week, with pain where the fatal injury was."
He takes a deep breath, steadying himself, and glances down to check on the progress of his wound. The blood seems to be slowing, maybe stopped, although he resists the temptation to let up on the pressure to see.
"I can help move him to his bed before you ask. It might be more comfortable for him."
no subject
Date: 2023-07-20 01:52 am (UTC)“I’ll help clean up. He’s my inmate, so this is my responsibility too.” It isn’t, not really, but it’d make her feel better. “I’m sorry he attacked you. I’ll… do something about this.” She has no idea what, but something, surely.
no subject
Date: 2023-07-20 02:03 am (UTC)He trails off, his mouth setting into a thin line.
"I think you may want to discover why, exactly, he attacked me. He asked me about my sister's death during the last flood, and I told him." Because: flood. He wishes he hadn't, now, but there's no undoing it. "He's asked me about it a few times since. It seemed as if he was trying to... push me to express guilt, and that he then attacked me--"
There's something about Kanan's death that clearly triggered Avalon's interest in him. He shakes his head slowly.
"I don't understand his motivation, and, not understanding his motivation, I don't know how likely he is to try again."
no subject
Date: 2023-07-20 02:17 am (UTC)"They don't attack people who aren't suffering, because there's no point." They'd said that themselves, right? She couldn't remember everything in perfect clarity, but that's where her Handy-Dandy Notebook came into play.
"Avalon's attracted to people who are suffering. People who are suicidal and the like, they prey on that. They're drawn to despair. They coerce their victims into killing themselves. I've asked, but I don't think even they knows why... I think that they think it helps them, somehow, trying to understand."
She stares down at her notes with a little frown. "When we first met, I was playing the piano... They wanted me to play the Lunar Melody for them a couple of times...I guess because of the way it can make you remember things. I never asked what it made them remember..."
no subject
Date: 2023-07-20 02:23 am (UTC)Conversations that Hakkai has had with Avalon: the traumatic death by suicide of his twin sister. Conversations that Hakkai has not had with Avalon: their gender identity.no subject
Date: 2023-07-20 02:29 am (UTC)She trails off, not sure if either of them are right or wrong. "I never really thought to ask."
no subject
Date: 2023-07-20 02:41 am (UTC)He clears his throat, glancing away. "I, ah. Hadn't checked the inmate ledger for them." He should have, especially given the odd behavior, but he'd thought it was more reasonable to go speak to them in person. The ledger does tend to be -- less than helpful. But he shouldn't be ignoring available information, even if it isn't as helpful as he'd like.
"In any case." He looks down, his expression smoothing out. "I wouldn't say I'm suffering particularly from despair. But I will admit I found her death quite difficult. I assume they -- thought it was a weakness that they could exploit, then."
i had a dream i responded to this already.......
Date: 2023-07-20 04:09 pm (UTC)"Maybe..." She sighs, shaking her head. "I should've learned more... I'm sorry I couldn't prevent this." She stands and brushes herself off, wandering a bit to find another towel to start cleaning up the blood.
"I can talk to the Admiral about you, too, if you want. Tell him that it wasn't your fault."
no subject
Date: 2023-07-20 06:03 pm (UTC)"If he asks, you can tell him anything you like, but I... would assume I'd be an inmate already if I were going to be demoted for this." And it had been self-defense. Although he should have been able to defend himself more effectively without killing.
That's a matter to discuss with Xie Lian, though, later. He glances at the blanket-covered corpse.
"Shall I move them to the bed?"
no subject
Date: 2023-07-20 06:21 pm (UTC)"Oh, yes. I can help--" SHe automatically moves to try and help Hakkai move him.
no subject
Date: 2023-07-20 06:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-07-20 07:13 pm (UTC)Once there she fusses again a little bit, smoothing the comforter. "I'll let you know once he's up and feeling better. Do you... Do you want to try and talk to him again, or...?"
no subject
Date: 2023-07-20 07:21 pm (UTC)If for no other reason than he certainly should have known better.